For Gab...

I’d like to start my journal on this journey Gabriella and I have commenced to undertake. When we started out together we knew that the world had a lot to offer us, and this would in turn take us down paths that we had not yet explored together. I remember one afternoon abut 4 or 5 months into our dating. We were walking down a trail near the Mississippi river exploring together a tree laden flood plain that abutted the back of the Minneapolis Airport. I’m sure many things were talked about, but most importantly a realization came over us that day that we might be headed for something bigger than just boyfriend and girlfriend. At one point Gab turned to me and knowing that travel and freedom were important to me she said, “You know I think I might be willing to give up the opportunity to have kids so that I can be with you.” Something so selfless was not lost on me, I had never seen kids as an important part of my life and feared that it might be a deal breaker between us. Yet here Gab was willing to turn from something that was a dream she held in exchange for the opportunity to build a life with me who she had just met. She also went on to say that she could and would find a way, if “We” worked out, to see the world and hopefully live abroad, at least for a few years. I’m not sure what to say about this other than that I knew then that I would find a way to repay her sacrifice if indeed we did choose to be together in the years to come. We now know that this wasn’t our choice but rather a fate we shared, there was no other choice than to marry each other; being apart was not a possibility.

Today I sit at my parents, as Gab sleeps at a stranger’s house in a new land where no security blankets exist for her to hold on to. She’s taken the first step, the jump off the cliff, and as I step up to the ledge and look down I hear her yell that the fall is far and the water is cold. But I also see that there is no way back up the cliff for her to climb rejoin me, and that to be with her I need to leave behind my blanket and jump in. How far down river will we drift before we find a ledge to climb onto and safely view the beauty of the river before us? I don’t know but I do know that two sets of eyes have a better chance of picking it out rather than one. Growing up I never new what it was that kept my parents together, or my grandparents, growing up I saw them as individuals who each made choices independent of the other. Stepping up to the ledge and looking down I’m starting to realize that being together was not about keeping each other company, but was rather helping each other to breathe, and that every decision I make Gab is making too with me. Being together allows us to act as one, and understand that “We” have made these decisions together.

I can’t wait to get to Madrid and hold Gab rejoining the "We" so that we can continue to explore the world together. Recently I have met people who wonder at what we are doing, in turn I wonder at them. How can someone go through life letting others tell you what it is all about? Why let others explore the world for you, make life your own reality show. If you’ve always wanted to see Spain then go! Fear is all that keeps people from doing things they want to and in the end that’s not a good enough excuse. I’m terrified sometimes when I think about this next step in our lives, but life is not fully experienced unless you spend some time at the extremes and you forego your security in hopes of discovering something new.

I am fortunate in having found someone to join in my life who is so full of purity and love. Looking at Gab is like looking at pure hope; scared, lost and sometimes naïve but always hopeful, and most importantly full of love. It’s nice to know that I can count on someone like her by my side knowing that evil and hate will never have a place in our home and that I will always be unconditionally loved for who I am. A life lived with love only propagates more love. Gab is my love, hope, balance, and soul mate; she makes me strive to be a better person everyday that I live. We’ve both know for some time that this is not our first lifetime together, it’s hard to explain, but it’s true and I also know it won’t be our last; we still have a lot of exploring to do. I love you babe and remember I’ll be there soon…r